If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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