I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
We got so high we made milksteak
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
