Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
