I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize