This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
