I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
