I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize