guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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