i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
third nipple confirmed
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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