i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
