I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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