just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
