You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
