weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
