yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize