I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
