why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
