guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
meet me or not, i'm out of control
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
