Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You've changed since you got that strap on
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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