And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
