Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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