what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
