Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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