just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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