closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
sex in a hospital.. check
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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