I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
