Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
