Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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