i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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