He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
