She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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