Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
That's when you crack a 10am beer
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
