sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
