Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
