I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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