Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
