They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
