those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
