this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
