I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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