we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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