it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
