Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
