ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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