hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
