just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
