I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
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