Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Drake has all the answers
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
