So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
