so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Pooping to opera.
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