my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
