Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
