I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize