It's Friday. Sex?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
