actually, I'm a sock model
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
