You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You are the jesus of drinking
Why are your pants in the freezer?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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