HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
They took my balls.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
