me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
