Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
