You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
