it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
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I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
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Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
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