Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Randomize
