He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
