I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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