if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
